Difficult Circumstances

Our circumstances are very important to us. For most of us, we ride the roller coaster of circumstances, feeling that our circumstances are a big determinant of how happy we are. We hate it when our circumstances are ‘bad,’ like lost jobs, broken marriages/relationships, death of loved ones, or health issues (in ourselves or in our loved ones), money issues, extreme embarrassment, and so forth. You can probably think of your worst past circumstances right now.

A few of us may have had a great childhood and an idyllic life for a while. But sooner or later, we realized that life has some bad things in store. Some that we may have contributed to and some that just happened to us. Others may have had very difficult circumstances from early on. I got to know some really poor people who had terrible life circumstances from the beginning. Does that mean, they are less loved by God or I am more worthy of blessings? No. We all face different sets of circumstances from the very beginning. At any rate, in old age, almost all of us will have very difficult circumstances. Early in life, I found what was my ideal job in a start-up ministry. It was great. But about 10 years later it took a sudden turn for the worse. I prayed a lot and thought that surely God was going to cause good to triumph. But he didn’t. I was terribly depressed. But after a while, I thought about it. Did I deserve ‘the American Dream’ while people in 3rd world countries were in circumstances way lower than my worst circumstances? Many of those people were content with very little, while a lot of rich Americans weren’t content. Why? Because of our MINDS. Our minds tell us what we think we deserve. And so we are distressed because we have a setback.

We live in a broken world. Evil is in almost everything touched by humans. We can’t expect God to be our servant and fix everything for us. He doesn’t promise all us who are ‘committed believers’ the perfect love relationship nor prevent most divorces (note, there are two broken persons in every marriage). When we realize we don’t ‘deserve’ any particular circumstance, we will appreciate so much more of life.

I’m convinced that God isn’t usually focused on fixing all our bad circumstances, although he may ‘fix’ them if that is something that promotes spiritual growth in us. He is more focused on our relationship with him. If you really read the Bible and Jesus’ teachings, he makes it clear that God must be the total center of your life. In fact, we are supposed grow to ‘love him with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul’ (Matthew 12:30-31). I don’t know about you, but other than some occasional ‘mountain-top experiences,’ for most of my life I could not honestly say I loved God, let alone ‘with all my heart.’ But don’t we grow closer to God when we are faced with really difficult circumstances - assuming that instead of blaming him for not fixing the circumstance, we seek him more deeply?

Perhaps it helps to know, as it did for me, that really difficult circumstances are not abnormal, nor a sign of God’s disfavor. But God does not want any of the difficult circumstances in our life to go to waste. We have to grow to trust that God has a better life for us than what we think is best. We are where God wants us and he uses all the things we went through to bring us closer to him and to be better ministers to others IF we let him. He (Jesus) says that we must be part of the vine (in relationship with him), growing, and producing fruit. (John 15:1-11).

So, here is the great thing: While this kind of God-centered life will likely have a lot of internal as well as external challenges that push us out of our comfort zones, it is a more “abundant” and purposeful life.

How Well Do You Know Jesus?

I suspect you and I know snippets here and there about Jesus. We know a number of pieces to the puzzle, but do we really know the whole picture? Questions about Jesus and his key themes (the things he put priority on, repeated often, and showed in his life):

What was his biggest positive theme?

What was his biggest negative theme?

What kind of relationship did he require between his followers and himself?

What kind of life did he expect of his followers?

What kind of relationship did he require his followers to have with other followers?

What kind of relationship did he require his followers to have with non-Christians?

How do you get the big picture of Jesus and the Christianity that he started?

Of course, that picture mainly comes in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I - and I suspect a lot of Christians - spent years where we would sort of lightly read over things we thought we knew (“yeah, yeah, I know this part”). Because I had an agenda to cover a certain amount of scripture each day, I would just kind of ignore details that I didn't fully understand. I didn’t really think much about the context of the passage, like how it might have impacted the people Jesus was speaking to and how it fit with the rest of what he said and did. Eventually, life showed me that I had an incomplete concept of what Jesus was about and wanted from me. I became convicted to really study much more deeply. I got a harmonized, chronological version of the Bible/gospels, so as to see more the single storyline of how the things progressed over time. It helped me form a more comprehensive picture. I would check the Old Testament and other cross references (and their context). I would check multiple commentaries. I would check things in the non-gospels part of the New Testament that covered the same theme that Jesus was talking about. I would mull things over in the light of the most profound things Jesus had taught me during my life. Most of all I truly sought to hear what God was saying to me. It changed and continues to change, my life. It is also an ever-growing puzzle for a limited human to relate to the unlimited God of the Universe. Even though his coming to our level helps us understand more about the picture of him and God, they don't fit in any human 'box'. It's actually very comforting to know that it is a challenging and exciting journey that will continue throughout our life!

I'm not saying everyone who wants to know Jesus better will have the same path as me. Nevertheless, I encourage you to get more of the full picture of Jesus direct from the Bible. I believe it will likely change your life as well.

Happiness and the Journey to "All-in"

In 2016 I faced devastating circumstances that shook my faith to the core. I was at the end of my rope and beyond and looked to God as never before. I was shocked to see him show his love to me in small and big, ongoing ways, such as through a much closer family relationship, a challenging church, a new start, and books. Well, technically audiobooks because I don’t generally have the patience to sit down and read whole books. I encountered a deeper relationship with God than I ever thought was possible. Seeing the reality of God's love for me started to radically change my life.

One particularly inspiring book was ‘Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” by Peter Scazzero. It is far more ‘big picture’ than the title might suggest and a really powerful book. It is based on Peter's deep struggles and change. He is one of the most ‘sold out’ Christians I have ever read, in ways that are refreshingly real.

It, other books, preachers, God-ordained circumstances, and most of all a much deeper study of scriptures, God helped me on that path. Despite many years of thinking such a step would make me 'weird,' I realized that I had to commit to the 'all-in' path. It radically changed my life. I have concluded that what God wants to show us is the way towards true peace and fulfillment, is centering on him. It cannot be found by being more religious. In fact, I believe that much of institutional Christianity leans towards a type of pharisaism. Many of us think that we know the true God best, certainly better than most of the people who are not in the type of church we are in. We have God in our box. And based on that we tend to conform more to that church’s way of thinking (or we leave, emotionally or physically). We try to live in a way that is close to what that church believes and that we think God wants - based on the box we have him in. Often subconsciously, we try to show ourselves as a valued member of that group. We tend to look down on anyone who is in some significant way not in our way of thinking. There can be other things that are outside of church that can also start to creep into our thinking - things that that don’t fully match the life and key teachings of Jesus. And in that process, we can if we are not careful, become to some degree or another, pharisaical.

I realized that in some ways, I had tended towards pharisaism. It’s a natural tendency. It’s easier to follow a set of ‘rules’ than to have a dynamic relationship with God where we have to be very sensitive to what he is working in us on an ongoing basis.

I believe what God wants for us is to not follow a formula, but a deeper dynamic relationship journey to him. That involves not just giving lip service to, but actually growing in our love for him and for others and showing more and more 'fruit.' 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴  𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗶𝗺.

Our circumstances, for most of us, largely determine our happiness. I believe that God wants our relationship with him to grow so much deeper that we can be fulfilled and at peace regardless of the circumstances. In essence, I believe that he wants us to grow towards being ‘all-in’ - knowing it is a journey we will never completely fulfill in this life. He seems to intend to disrupt or remove the particular things that we insist that we HAVE to have. It may be having love relationship that meets our expectations and deepest needs. It may be a certain amount of money, health, recognition, and/or success in our work life.

It seems to me that the greatest impediment to peace, happiness, and fulfillment is our minds. Many years ago, when I lost a ministry position that I felt was ideal for me, I was devastated. My happiness was built on the “American Dream” of ever-increasing personal and financial success. Then I started thinking about the big picture. There are people in most of the world who would be thrilled just to have a life with basic shelter, adequate food, freedom from serious oppression, air conditioning, etc. On the other side are people who are incredibly successful and wealthy who are very unhappy. It is our minds and the circumstances that we think we HAVE to have that makes us unhappy.

I no longer have a mate and certainly don’t expect to ever have one again. But over the years, as God has had me on the journey to ‘all-in,’ I have grown to feel far happier and tremendously appreciative of more and more of what are the simple ‘blessings’ of life that God has given me. He has blessed me with the opportunity to get far closer to my daughter and her family and given me new areas of growth, as well as intellectual and spiritual stimulation. Most of all, I feel the excitement and joy of being on a journey of getting closer to the God of the Universe!

I clearly have not arrived. I know that I can easily fall into judgmentalness, pride, or a lot of other things.  I still struggle with a tendency towards materialism. I certainly expect in the future that I will have serious struggles – like everyone does, but that God intends to use - IF I let him - to grow me closer to him. I certainly don't really know the God of the Universe, in a way that can be put in a box. I continue to be amazed in the often mysterious ways and directions he leads. But again, the point is that I am committed to the journey to ‘all-in’ and to the one day that I will pass the threshold when I can start to see the God who is beyond human comprehension! I was a slow spiritual learner - too distracted by my pursuit of romantic relationships. I hope that those who read this will start that journey to all-in far earlier than I did.